personality
today yearmates were doing personality tests in the room.
and i realised i dont know myself, really.
WHO AM I?
am i
(a) that immature little twit that goes around annoying everyone with spastic lame jokes
(b) an emo dude
(c) someone who makes no sense
(d) weird
(e) an introvert
(f) all of the above
(g) none of the above (please state reasons:_____)
yile and peirong would say that i'm organised cos i take off my right shoe before my left, and i'm proud of that HAHA.
but really, i dont know. i'd choose (e). okay enough with the "AS IF LAH" or "HAHAHA YOU MUST BE KIDDING". xD i'm sure i'd be getting a few of that kind of responses. but to think of it, i'm mostly only high in front of people i'm close to. i dont know, being high to people i'm NOT close to feels... weird. i dont know what to make them laugh, and when i say a spastic joke that's not expected out of me, and they dont laugh, i just go hehheh and the awkward conversation ends there.
and that's not all. even normal conversations cant last longer than half a minute, cos there's absolutely no common topic i can talk to others about. okay, maybe there are, but no elabs, that's for sure. it'd just be "YEA", "agreed!", "nahhh", then stone.
but i really think i'm an introvert. it's hard for me to start a conversation with others. i dont seem to ever know when to pop in a sentence. when i say something someone else says another, and everyone listens to that someone else. either that or we both stone, then start at the same time again. hahaha. i guess it's chemistry!, but still. it feels awkward.
and i cant smile for nuts. my smile looks so fake. and when i smile it's more like pulling my lips thinner and thinner to the side. i wouldnt consider that a smile. would you?
but i guess it's the heart that counts, the bonding i have with my close friends that counts. cos they are the ones who can understand that my lip pulling is the greatest grin i could ever give them, and my spastic jokes are really nothing to care about.
friends are love.
but somehow, it's always only in front of family that i can shed off everything and put down my guard.
but you'll never know; people aren't as simple as ABC.
----
i'm officially dead for chem. i think i seriously need tuition. same for physics. i dont understand ANYTHING the teacher's trying to say. or at least i dont really know how to apply when they twist and turn the question into something that sounds as foreign as schizophrenic, some stupid sulphur thing we're going to have to study for chemistry EOI next term.
geog was horrifying. full stop.
chinese, i'm speechless. i'm not expecting anything good out of it though. my biao da was horrifying, and the storyline was cliche. ah wells.
omgosh. i think i'll be glad just to scrape a 2.8 for my GPA man.
flew @10:17 PM
March 7, 2007
